


Our Endless Numbered Days

by gothjotun



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Angst, Carlos is like WAHH CECIL IS SO PRETTY BUT I’M NOT GAY, Cecil Palmer isn’t really human, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Slow Burn, [through gritted teeth] Steve Carlsberg, and then he’s like FUCK you Cecil, cecilos - Freeform, gay struggles I guess, josie’s angels also make and appearance yay, or something, uhh the tags might change later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2021-02-22 10:36:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22614814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gothjotun/pseuds/gothjotun
Summary: The Universe held It’s breath as Carlos and his team of scientists enter Night Vale for the first time. Carlos struggles with accepting the entities and people within the odd town as he struggles to accept himself.
Relationships: Carlos/Cecil Palmer
Comments: 4
Kudos: 36





	1. On Your Wings

The day Carlos arrived in Night Vale, the universe held It’s breath, and didn’t release the space It sucked in until a certain transaction was complete. The gods of bone mingled with the djinn of dust, and together they created mold and mud from star residue and the hind legs of farm animals. For this galaxy is melded into an odd array of calamities, but it all fits together into one haphazard but perfect mold. And in this Milky Way, through words and worth within the womb of an unborn child, a father dies and an angel accepts its wings. Life is happening all around us, whether we value the weight of the world or not. Life doesn’t make sense, and if what I just described to you doesn’t make sense, then you don’t make sense either. 

As the scientist made his way through town for the very first time, he beheld young teenagers smoking cigarettes. Their exhales glowed of cherry red and baby blue, mint green and neon orange. He saw a farmer selling what seemed like empty space to people for money, the customers delighted at the nothingness. Carlos observed an elderly woman talking out loud to herself, something about “angels” and other odd things the man couldn’t understand. 

He came in at night, the setting sun sleeping at ease as the universe called Her to rest, assuring Her that She had done Her job, and had done it well as always. 

Carlos, doe eyed, sweet Carlos, stumbled upon a lamp light glittering in the street. He stood under it, and watched how the dusk already ached to meet the dawn of a new day. Heart stuttering, he observed that the skies composed for him a miraculous tune, that left his palms clammy and his plans changed. For it enveloped what he knew, and turned it a scarlet red, instead of the navy blue nights he had grown up with. 

Something was off, something was _wrong,_ and his mind drew a blank of how he even got to this lamplight. He stares up at the skies and he wonders, _what have I gotten myself into?_

He flinched violently as if his bones were troubled as he felt a poke on his shoulder. Carlos turned to meet a man younger and smaller than him, both looking startled as they examined one another.

This stranger was...odd. Carlos found himself taking a step back subconsciously as the unknown person grinned at him. He couldn’t tell why, but something about his smile was off in a way. Perhaps it was the lamp light, but his teeth and hair almost seemed to glow. His canines, a little too long, a little too sharp, perhaps. And his hair, Carlos had never met someone with hair so pure white. It was shaggy, a curly mess of chaotic bed head. Bangs covered the strangers forehead as curls and cowlicks graced his pretty face. 

The younger man cocked his head to the side in confusion, wondering who this new human was. He blinked a couple times, Carlos sucking in a sharp breath as he saw his eyes. They were a soft lavender color, pupils dilated in delight as they shone like gemstones under the false light.

And then, he heard his voice, and the universe released It’s breath after a long wait. 

“Hi! You’re new, what’s your name?” The man searches Carlos’ eyes excitedly, wildly. “I’m Cecil!”

“...C-” The scientist found himself enveloped in new sensations, the cosmos giving their blessings to the stars as they aligned happily.

“C-Carlos.” He stuttered awkwardly, stretching out his hand for a shake. 

Cecil gripped it firmly, _too_ firmly as the older man visibly winced from the vice grip. 

“Sorry about that!” Cecil chimed, retracting his delicate hand back to his body. 

Carlos furrowed his eyebrows as he saw that the man’s nails were pointed, and painted black. 

“What are you doing here?”

But Carlos didn’t reply. He searched Cecil’s being, flabbergasted at what he saw. This _grown man_ was wearing a floral kimono with a dark grey dress that almost reached his knobby knees. He had basketball shorts on with high top vans that were decorated with flamingos and beach balls on them. They were worn out, the tongues uneven as his shoelaces were a dull color, and Carlos beheld mismatching socks on Cecil’s feet. He was adorned in gold jewelry, multiple rings graced his boney fingers, bracelets on his thin wrists with a necklace that had a foreign charm on it. And he was...grinning. Apparently _proud_ to be seen like this. 

Cecil cleared his throat, a soft giggle bubbling up in his chest.

“O-Oh...uh, what was the quest-question again?” He stuttered awkwardly, and Cecil emitted a proper laugh that made the scientist feel like summer and sunlight.

It struck him to his core, his heart physically _hurt_ and he could not say _why_. Carlos needed to run, he had to leave, but this man was...he was intrigued him. The skies, intrigued him. The atmosphere felt heavy, like a predator meeting its prey. And Carlos knew who was who. 

But Cecil, his voice, it kept him standing still. 

“Are you a scientist?” The odd man marveled, tugging softly at Carlos’ coat sleeve.

Throat feeling tight, he just smiled awkwardly and nodded. 

“Are you...human…?” Cecil lowered his voice, eyes glistening in wonder.

“Erm...I hope?” The older man scratched the back of his neck. “Yes. Yes I am.” 

Cecil looked almost disappointed. 

“I’ve been told to be on my best behavior when you come!” He sighed in exasperation. “But I just _had to ask.”_ Cecil muttered to himself. 

“The townspeople are ready to meet you, perfect Carlos.” Cecil grinned again, quickly continuing. 

The scientist found himself blushing, something he hasn’t done since middle school. He cleared his throat, cocking his head as he furrowed his eyebrows.

“Perfect...perfect Carlos?” He felt oddly irritated, but it came across as a confused whimper. He wasn’t gay, the last thing he wanted was for some freak to hit on him when he was here for research purposes.

“Of course! You have _amazing_ hair, by the way.” Cecil complimented, his voice felt like a physical presence caressing Carlos’ cheeks. 

The older man shivered at the sensation. He was genuinely at a loss for words, and was relieved when the odd man told him he had to go to work at the radio station before scurrying away.

Huh.

His presence and absence was so sudden, and the only way he knew it was even real was the blush still present on his cheeks. 

Carlos shook his head, now on his way to find his fellow scientists at an apartment complex down the street. He needed a word with them. 


	2. Naked as We Came

And yet again as the cyclical prophesy goes, the universe raised the sun up from Her slumber, whispering sweet nothings to make Her shine bright for us all. Delighted, She graces us with heavens light, a peak into Her titan form in a predictable pattern.

Carlos was kept up for a while, having had horrible nightmares about the eccentric man he met the evening before. Cecil’s skin in the dream was black as the space above them as his mouth spit out white substance, his eyes glowing a blinding light. The man sprouted two more sets of arms, void tentacles creeping, slithering towards the scientist as they enveloped his human being. They curled around his torso and his arms, pulling him closer to Cecil, who grinned too wide in delight. His teeth were razor sharp, white liquid bubbling past his lips and down his chin. He cupped Carlos’ cheeks with a set of palms, giggling. And then, he kissed him.

And then, Carlos felt the universe collapse his lungs.

It left him gasping for air like Cecil had dug up the debris clogging his windpipes. Carlos was with a trembling breath and shaking hands, eyes spinning in their sockets as he threw up white substance as well. His eyes then turned to glass, his teeth shards of metal as he tried to speak, his mouth feeling clumsy. But they grated together, a dissonance that tied his tongue into silence. But Cecil laughed, and all was well in the world.

And Carlos found that _he_ was the odd one out.

Cecil embraced the galaxy, the stars creeping up his spine and nuzzling into his arteries. The shell of moons light swirled in his multiple eyes, the third one stamped to his forehead, which was now clear of the curly hair. And through his glittered, soft lips, Carlos saw one thousand citizens that were sick. A jotun in the void of space, Cecil slit his wrists, grains of desert sand pouring from the wounds. The scientist screamed, but no sound came out, as everything dying is already dead. The stars he saw were clearly burnt out now, and he fell into eternal blackness as Cecil dismissed him with one fatal hand motion.

Carlos had woken up in a cold sweat, shivering as he whimpered in the darkness that he was so comfortable with in the dream. But now he was uncomfortable. And now, he was afraid.

Hours passed as it was now morning, the man enjoying coffee with his coworkers as they discussed plans for the day. But Carlos still couldn’t shake the feeling of awe coinciding with terror from what his dreamscape had shown him. It was only until a snap from a pair of fingers in his face did he zero back into the conversation.

“Carlos? Jesus, dude. Are you okay?”

“Y-Yeah, uh, just lost in thought.” He cleared his throat awkwardly before sipping his drink.

“Didn’t sleep well?” His friend Nico asked, and Carlos nodded.

“I had a dream about some giant, floating eye in the sky.” Mary mumbled, stirring more sugar into her coffee. “Gave me the fucking creeps.”

“I had a dream about angels and fire.” Nico offered, eyebrows furrowed. “What about you Carlos? You dream of anything strange?”

“Uh, I had a dream about the universe. Some guy named Cecil, he was in the dream, too. It was weird.” He avoided eye contact with the others as he explained what he saw.

“Cecil? The radio host? Oh god.” Mary snorted.

“You know, he’s obsessed with you.” Nico chimed in as the girl giggled.

“He talked about you on the radio last night, called you “perfect Carlos”. I thought it was cute.” Mary nudged his side with her elbow.

“He’s pretty adorable, go for it.”

Carlos choked on his coffee, his face flushing in embarrassment.

“I’m not gay!” His voice broke in between coughs, the other two laughing at him.

“Carlos, it’s so obvious you like dudes.”

“I’m not-!” The scientist huffed. “I’m not gay! I don’t like men!”

Mary snickered in a way that he knew all too well, it was a _you’re a fucking idiot_ kind of laugh, and he rolled his eyes in irritation.

“I’m not- I’m not homophobic or anything. I just can’t see myself with a man, it’s as simple as that.” He muttered to himself. “Cecil is- he’s weird! He’s...he’s an _odd guy_. Way too much for me. I need someone more...normal.”

This earned an hysterical cackle from his two friends.

“This is _Night Vale, dude_. I saw hoodie figures crowding around each other in a dog park, okay? These people are freaks. Plain and fucking _simple_.”

Carlos gnawed on his bottom lip before sighing. He clearly couldn’t combat with a retort that would make sense or be believable in the slightest.

“Let’s just- let’s just get to work.” He mumbled in defeat, the other two grinning.

Hours then passed, the three scientists declaring to each other that they deserved a much needed break. So they agreed to get some snacks from a shop near their building, and lo and behold, they ran into Cecil.

Mary excitedly nudged Carlos with her elbow as she grinned from ear to ear, the odd man not noticing their presence yet. He was chatting up the cashier, the two looking delighted with what the other had to say.

“Huh, didn’t know you were into goth boys.” Nico commented as Cecil was dressed in all black that afternoon.

“His poncho is pretty adorable.” Mary said more to herself than the others. “And those boots? Incredible. I need to ask them where he got his shoes.” She muttered to herself as she approached the man.

“No, no, no- oh my god.” Carlos breathed, closing his eyes as he grit his teeth, his arm outstretched in the empty air as he attempted to stop her with no luck.

Cecil turned to her, eyes lighting up as he excitedly rocked back on his heels. He was very animated when he talked, making odd hand motions as he blabbered on. He looked over, eyes catching Carlos as he then grinned, waving hello frantically to the man.

“Aren’t you hot in that?” Carlos heard Mary ask as Nico forced him upon the scene.

Cecil was wearing a long sleeved black shirt under his poncho, which yes, was fashionable, but not a smart idea in the desert.

“Of course!” He chimed happily. “But it’s the price I pay for looking phenomenal.” He smiled, closing his eyes like a content cat.

“And hello, perfect Carlos!” Cecil’s eyes snapped open, the scientist feeling his face pale as the radio host’s head turned towards him at inhuman speed.

“Where did you get your contacts?” Mary asked in awe. “They’re so pretty.”

“Yeah, pretty fuckin’ creepy.” Nico commented casually as Carlos stared at the ground.

“You...You think they look weird?” Cecil asked softly, turning to the other scientists.

“Yeah it’s uh, it looks abnormal, I suppose.” Carlos commented, seeming dismissive even though his heart was hammering recklessly.

Cecil blinked a couple times, face completely changing as if the word “abnormal” was a trigger word for him.

“Don’t be mean!” Mary snapped, crossing her arms. “Cecil, I think they’re _lovely_. How much did they cost?”

And for the first time in a century, Cecil was quiet. And for the first time in a century, Cecil was speechless.

And for the first time since he was a kid, Cecil felt like an outcast.

Wordlessly, he quickly left the shop.

“Nice going assholes.” Mary hissed, smacking Carlos’ arm. “You hurt his feelings!”

“What do you mean contacts?” The cashier butt in. “They just naturally look like that.”

The three were speechless for a moment.

“Oh.” Carlos breathed, biting his bottom lip.

“You said his eye color looks fucking creepy! You’re both pieces of shit sometimes oh my _god_.”

“How were we supposed to know!” Nico retorted.

“You said yourself everyone in this town is weird.” She hissed quietly. “You didn’t think that maybe purple could be his natural color?”

“You’re the one going on about colored lenses.” Carlos mumbled quietly, the other two glaring at him.

“That’s beside the point! You need to go apologize. Both of you.” Mary demanded, and even though she was petite in stature, she was a force to be reckoned with.

Carlos sighed as he rubbed his face, then nodded, agreeing.

“You’re right.”

“I’m always right.” She snapped. “Now go.”


	3. Cinder and Smoke

Perhaps the universe stuttered when It exhaled, perhaps a certain star wasn’t in line correctly. Maybe a moon shed too much of Her carcass in the space above, the jotun made up of black holes sucked in a bit too much of heavens light. 

Perhaps wormholes found themselves a little too deep, a little too inconvenient. Maybe the sun had enough of the act to sing for Her supper as everyone took Her shine for granted. 

Because now Cecil was crying in Josie’s living room, the angels trying to comfort him as their long, boney, foreign fingers full of light threaded themselves into his curls. They stroked his hair, a comforting hand on his back as they vibrated softly through their multiple mouths, gnashing their teeth in sympathy as he wept. Just because they were otherworldly doesn’t mean they couldn’t have been men. 

“Cece, listen to me, sweetheart.” Josie pleaded softly as she knit herself a scarf on her rocking chair. 

“The road you travel is different, but that doesn’t mean it's wrong. You shouldn’t give someone your heart if they’re not completely tied to it, little dove.” 

Cecil sniffed softly, one of the angels massaging his shoulders. He was the only person other than the elderly woman that they liked, and he never took it for granted. 

“Wh-What do you suggest I do?” He whimpered quietly, eyes glistening like water in the faux oasis. 

“Stop hiding yourself from people you think don’t like you.” Josie commented, looking up from her knitting. 

“Cut your hair. Wear short sleeves. Get angry. Polish your horns.”

Cecil visibly stiffened at her words, the angels muttered in tongues as they urged him to relax in a golden tongue gifted from Babel. 

“We’ve been with each other throughout both of our lives. I swear, Cece, we’re soulmates in a familial term. You’ve been with me my entire existence, as Time waits for no one, and stops at the most inconvenient of places.”

“You’re the only parental figure I have.” His breath stuttered as his voice shook. 

“And you’re the only son I have.” 

The angels growled softly at that, Josie having to remind them that she loved them, too. 

“You...You think I should cut my hair? What will the townsfolk say?”

“Who cares?”

Cecil chewed on his bottom lip.

“You know, I find that part of you perfectly unique, perfectly in awe as it is quite simply awesome. Move your hair for me.”

One of the angels ruffled Cecil’s curls, the man snorted softly in amusement as he brushed aside his bangs.

“There’s the boy I know and love.” Josie smiled widely as Cecil revealed a third eye stamped to his forehead. 

“This town doesn’t like to be reminded of who my father is.” He mumbled, sighing as his eye glowed in confusion at its clear vision. 

“You have his traits, yes. The eyes, your facial features, the ever flowing symbols on his appendages. So what?”

“They’ll see me as him...”

“ _So what?_ ” Josie leaned forwards on her rocking hair, eyes twinkling in mischief. 

Cecil huffed in amusement, smiling fully for the first time in a long time. 

“Say, maybe one day I’ll let you cut my hair.” He said grinning, the two delighted as he wiped away his tears.

“Roll up your sleeves, I want to see what They have to say.”

And Cecil complied with her request.

Slithering tentacles oozed and squirmed up and down his arms, as if they were gasping for breath from being hidden for so long. Thick black rings around his fingers vibrated gently, the old woman coaxing him to take off his jewelry on his hands. And so he did. Void tentacles manifesting from his back tickled the angels around him, the room thick with delight and amusement.

And now, he was completely open with her. And now, he was completely open with himself. 

“That’s my boy.” Her eyes swelled with proud tears. 

His lavender eyes glittered in genuine happiness, his hands trembling in relief.

“Now go out there, and be yourself.” She urged quietly. 

“I’ll start with that.” He assured as he brushed his bangs back over his forehead, but he kept his sleeves pushed up. 

His tentacles retracted to his back, the air cackling and cracking around them. They kissed each other’s cheeks, and Cecil went on his way. 

The townsfolk gave mixed reactions. Some smiled at him sympathetically, some glared at him. Some seemed genuinely frightful. But he kept his head held high, and refused to give in to the temptation to roll down his sleeves. And he felt satisfied with himself as he reached his apartment building.

Cecil was stopped suddenly as he ran into the trio of scientists. He begged his tattoos to remain still, as they became ever so silent and stagnant on his appendages. 

“Cecil! Hi.” Nico greeted, smiling awkwardly as Carlos was quiet.

“H-Hello.” The radio host kept his arms firm at his side, trying to draw no attention to them. 

“We just wanted to apologize for earlier.” Nico started casually, but sincerely. “It was shitty and uncalled for.”

Carlos cleared his throat softly.

“Yeah I’m uh...I’m sorry about that.” He rubbed the back of his neck.

Cecil smiled softly as he made hand gestures, telling them it was okay.

“It’s-It’s honesty fine. I’m not offended or anything-”

“Hey, your arms. Holy shit.” Nico marveled. “Where did you get those tattoos?”

The three saw the radio hosts face pale considerably. He quickly rolled down his sleeves without thinking, his breath stuttering.

“Uh...sorry again?” Nico questioned, Mary glaring at him like he had slapped Cecil across the cheek.

“It’s uh...it’s a weird thing.” Cecil said uncharacteristically quiet. “Don’t worry about it.”

“They...look really cool actually.” Carlos mumbled, intrigued.

“You think so?” Cecil perked up, though still cautious.

“Carlos _loves_ men in tattoos.” Mary started, the radio host seeing Carlos’ eyes widen and a blush manifest on his cheeks.

“Okay! Okay, what she meant to say was-” But he was cut off as Cecil giggled. 

His laugh sounded like the light reaching Jesus the Christ after his resurrection, the soft hue cupping his bloody face as it whispered to him that it was over. 

And the three of them melted. 

“It’s fine.” He grinned, their hearts offbeat and wonky in their natural rhythm.

“Would you like to come in for some tea and fruit? It’s banana and mango season.” He asked sweetly, his attitude more relaxed.

“I would do anything for you.” Mary breathed, Carlos and Nico sputtering a laugh.

Cecil blushed, his cheeks a soft purple color as a hand raised to cover his smiling mouth. 

He ushered them in, and the four walked into the complex. 

**Author's Note:**

> howdy howdy! there’s so much rick and morty stuff I gotta update but I’ve become obsessed AGAIN with wtnv so that shits gotta wait! anyways! I hope y’all enjoyed this :•] please leave comments and kudos, it means the world to me <3 [ALSO cecil’s outfits are something I actually wear often LOL]


End file.
